Tag: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

#HolidayHop Barbara Silkstone

Blog Hop, Blogging, Flash Fiction, Guest Post, Indie Writers Unite! Holiday Hop, Kim Koning
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Today I have the pleasure of Barbara Silkstone’s talented words on Dragonfly Scrolls.

Santa and the Super-Glue

By Barbara Silkstone

To:  Kit@DancingQueen.oops

From: Alice@Wonderland.oops

Kit,

Just a short note to let you know I arrived safely in London last night. The tube of super-glue you gave me in case I break a nail came in handy. No, not for me, my Christmas-red fingertips held up nicely even in the baggage claim at Gatwick which was as rowdy as the World Cup and nowhere near as polite. You are the best nail-tech / drag queen in Miami. I miss you already.

London looks like a precious Victorian Christmas card, all lights and smiling faces. The jingle of bells is a constant over the babble of tourists from around the world. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, I walked to Harrods from my hotel this morning, certain I’d find some lovely gifts for all my friends back in the States. I promise NOT to bring home any English gentlemen for myself, no matter how much they look like John Cleese, but perhaps you’d like a Colin Firth look-a-like?

You are not going to believe what happened when I got to Harrods. I followed signs that offered a free gift to ladies who visited Santa in Ladies Lingerie. No, silly. He wasn’t wearing it. I stood in the queue waiting to sit on the skinny Santa’s lap. There was something familiar about his cockney accent. Just as it was my turn, which I can’t believe I even considered, Santa’s left ear popped out from his head. He yelped and pressed the ear to his white-wigged noggin. As the ladies in the queue gasped, his right ear jutted loose.

Remember that creep who testified against me in my trial? The one who committed perjury for theme park tickets? The guy whose ears swung away from his head like two open doors on a taxi when his super-glue gave way while he lied on the witness stand? Algy Green? He was the creepy Santa Claus! He didn’t recognize me but I sure recognized him behind his fake Santa beard.

Revenge is best served cold. I had a delicious bowl of Payback when the Algy – Santa squeaked “Super glue? Anyone got any?” I reached in my purse, took out my tube and pushed his head back. The bozo thought I was helping. Quick as a reindeer on a roof, I spritzed the glue over his lips and pushed his beard into place. I held it for a minute as I pretended to fuss with his Dumbo ears. He’ll be picking white cotton off his face until August. 

All in all my London shopping trip has been a jolly time filled with satisfaction and holiday cheer. Thanks to your super-glue it’s already been the best Christmas ever. See you on the 24th.

Love,

Alice

~

Alice Harte is the heroine of best selling ebook:

The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters

Algy Green is one of the many villains who challenge her in this comedy mystery.

Available on Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003BIGFSE/

Barbara Silkstone is the best-selling author of The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters  ~  Wendy and the Lost Boys  ~  London Broil ~ The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men and One Woman.

Silkstone’s writing has been described as “perfectly paced and pitched – shades of Janet Evanovich and Carl Hiaasen without seeming remotely derivative. Fast moving action that shoots from the hip with bullet-proof characterization.”

Wendy and the Lost Boys topped the charts in comedy, climbing over Tina Fey, Sophie Kinsella and Ellen DeGeneres. The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters has been a consistent best seller in comedy. Both Wendy and Alice have been in the top 20 Amazon comedies at the same time. Silkstone has been fortunate enough to take part in writing workshops with Stephen King, Robert B. Parker, and James Michener.

Barbara loves to hear from her readers. Her blog site is:

http://barbswire-ebooksandmore.blogspot.com/

Barbara Silkstone’s Books


The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters
Wendy and the Lost Boys
London Broil
The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men and One Woman
Barb’s Wire-eBooks & More
A Moose Walked into a Bar
Thank you Barbara for that wonderful flash fiction. Alice’s adventures sound fantastic… It was a pleasure having you on Dragonfly Scrolls. Happy HolidayHop and Merry Christmas!

 Remember, Readers there is a contest going on this blog for the HolidayHop. Read all the rules and take up the challenge here.  There are fantastic prizes, just here on this blog you can win an ebook copy of an amazing collection of short stories plus you go into the grand HolidayHop prize draw for the Kindle Touch.Don’t forget to hop to the other bloggers this holiday season and let the festive spirit infect you! 

Detox with The Mad Hatter

Kim Koning, Monday Mental Muscles, Notes on Wrestling The Muse, Postaday / Postaweek 2011
John Tenniel- Alice's mad tea party, colour
Image via Wikipedia

Do you ever feel that there is too much demanding your attention? Do you ever wish you could pause and rewind? Do you ever wish you could mute the world? Sometimes your brain can go into overdrive from being over stimulated. This last week felt like that for me. I wanted to power off the time switch and freeze time for just a moment to be able to catch my breath. I had a migraine for over a week that would not disappear and left me in pain and feeling grumpy and frustrated. The migraine was my fault and the fault of modern technology.

You see I was simply doing too much and my mind was overheating which caused the migraine attack. So left with no other choice, I decided to take a day and night off from everything and everyone. I turned off the Macbook which meant that I killed a few birds with one close of my Macbook: Facebook, Twitter, WIP, Blog. I switched off my mobile phone. I did not have music or television playing in the background. Then I holed up with my long overdue books needing to be read. I read in the quiet. Wouldn’t you know? My week-long migraine attack is gone.

Yes I must admit there was a small part of me that felt guilty, ok a large part, and I kept on catching my closed Macbook in my eye line. I could hear the chatter on Facebook and Twitter calling, then there was this blog aching to be updated with a new post. Not to mention my WIP was aching to be molly-coddled. But I resisted. This was the best mental detox for me.

In this world of technology it has become very difficult to just switch off to rest and relax. I am as guilty of this as the next person. I am also a person who tends to pile on things on my plate that just simply have to be done.

I have a little troll on my bedside table. It has a scrunched up face and bright pink punk hair. But the reason I have such a creature on my bedside table is that he is holding up a bright pink sign that says “Nobody is Perfect.”. I need to have that within close viewing distance to remind myself to go easy on myself.

Today I realised that though I am always thinking there is never enough time in a day to get things done let along compartmentalise all my me’s, work me, writer me, daughter me, sister me, friend me, critique partner me; the problem and the fault is my own. I am not the Energiser Bunny as much as I wish I were. Instead lately I have been feeling like the White Rabbit with the clock running around in Alice in Wonderland crying, “It’s late. It’s late. I’m late. I’m late.”.

So today I decided to be like The Mad Hatter, The March Hare and the dormouse and just take a chill pill, let the madness of the world continue around me without me in it for a while. The world did not stop turning, the white rabbit is still running around but for a moment I actually enjoyed a day that did not pass me by in a blur. Best of all I feel refreshed and do not have an aching head.

So your Monday Muscle is to set aside 1 whole day this week for a mental and technological detox. Sit at the table with the Mad Hatter and laugh at his silly nonsensical jokes. Ignore the late white rabbit. Do not turn on the computer. Do not turn on the TV. Do not turn on the stereo system / iPod. Turn off your mobile. Unhook the landline phone. Make an appointment with yourself. Sit outside. Take a walk. Read a book. You have a whole day to do nothing. Believe me you may be looking at this blog post now in abject horror, thinking does this silly girl not know how much I still have to do. I do know but I am saying that it will all still be there tomorrow. Give yourself one day off. Just like the body needs a detox, it is even more vital that your mind needs a detox. Healthy and Rested Mind = Healthy and Refreshed Body.

Now enjoy doing nothing and you can thank me afterwards.

– Kim

© All Rights Reserved Kim Koning.

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