The Not Writing Writer is a Monster Courting Insanity
Franz Kafka
Sometimes, not writing is the perfect prescription for a writer, given the right circumstances. Sometimes my thoughts are too chaotic to put pen to paper, or fingers on the keyboard…
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is a way of hiding from my dark emotions and avoiding voicing those chaotic thoughts…
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is not being present in the moment. Not writing my way through those dark emotions and untangling those chaotic thoughts is the way to falling into their deep pit of fury.
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is not remembering that putting those emotions, those twisted knots of thoughts down on paper is the way to remember to breathe.
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is the pattern that pulls me deeper into the dark, battling to see the light.
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is the fear that my words are worthless or worse that they are too heavy for the page to carry.
Sometimes, Not writing…
Is the monster courting insanity, flirting with danger and drowning in grief.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is to remind myself that in a world of chaos and unpredictability, sometimes the only world I can control is the one that spills out of the ink that I put on the page.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is the prescription to calm my fears, fears of the unknown, fears of the future, fears for those I love.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is the way I can keep my record of the unknotting of chaotic thoughts in a world gone mad.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is the motivation that allows me to push forward another day with the promise of hope.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is a way to heal these open wounds, a way to sort these missing puzzle pieces.
Sometimes, Writing…
Is the way I breathe. The reminder that if I am creating then I am filling the black holes of nothing that chaos creates.
Every year for the past 4 years I have chosen my One #WordOfTheYear.
I don’t do resolutions because quite simply there are too many things I want to resolve to do, too many places I want to resolve to see, too many people I want to resolve to meet or spend more time with and too many goals I want to resolve to achieve.
The resolution list would be Long.
So…
This.
This is my 5th year running that I have opted to go with a #PowerWord. [5 means lucky for me.]
This is the #OneWord366 [This year is a leap year! It means 1 whole 24 hours extra to #GetSh!tDone !] I choose to FOCUS on to power my intentions and motivate me. It is the #ResolutionsRevolution. It kicks ass and takes no excuses. No more lists of not done by the end of your first month.
This year my word is a word I have waited to choose.
2014 has ended…It was the year of hard lessons for me.
Every year I pick a word for the year. My personal life word this year is: metanoia.
But my working writing word for the year is: PUSH
push
pʊʃ/
verb
verb: push; 3rd person present: pushes; past tense: pushed; past participle: pushed; gerund or present participle: pushing
Origin
Middle English (as a verb):
from Old French pousser,
from Latin pulsare ‘to push, beat, pulse’ (see pulse1).
The early sense was ‘exert force on’, giving rise later to ‘make a strenuous effort, endeavour’.
1.
exert force on (someone or something) in order to move them away from oneself.
“she pushed her glass towards him”
synonyms: shove, thrust, propel, impel; More
antonyms: pull
hold and exert force on (something) so as to cause it to move in front of one.
“a woman was pushing a pram”
move one’s body or a part of it into a specified position with effort.
“she pushed her hands into her pockets”
press (a part of a machine or other device).
“the lift boy pushed the button for the twentieth floor”
synonyms: press (down), push down, depress, exert pressure on, bear down on, hold down, squeeze; More
cause to reach a particular level or state.
“competition in the retail sector will push down prices”
2.
move forward by using force to pass people or cause them to move aside.
“she pushed her way through the crowded streets”
synonyms: force (one’s way), shove, thrust, squeeze, jostle, elbow, shoulder; More
(of an army) advance over territory.
“the guerrillas have pushed south to within 100 miles of the capital”
exert oneself to attain something or surpass others.
“I was pushing hard until about 10 laps from the finish”
informal
be nearly (a particular age or amount).
“she must be pushing forty, but she’s still a good looker”
3.
compel or urge (someone) to do something, especially to work hard.
“she believed he was pushing their daughter too hard”
synonyms: urge, press, pressure, put pressure on, pressurize, force, drive, impel, coerce, nag; More
demand persistently.
“the council continued to push for the better management of water resources”
synonyms: demand, insist on, clamour for, ask/call for, request, press for, campaign for, work for, lobby for, speak for, drum up support for, sponsor, urge, promote, advocate, recommend, champion, espouse
“the trade unions will be likely to push for wage increases”
informal
have very little of something, especially time.
“I’m a bit pushed for time at the moment”
informal
find it difficult to achieve something.
“he will be pushed to retain the title as his form this season has been below par”
Last year was a year that upended my efforts and really put a giant PAUSE sign in my way. From about midway thorough the year I was struggling in an unbeatable fight with sapping energy levels, lack of concentration, and chronic, mind-sapping insomnia. Initially I put this down to my migraines which had also ratcheted up to unacceptable levels. But eventually something told me this was something more than just effect of my migraines.
I felt burnt out and almost extinguished. I thought maybe I needed a holiday. I had not had a holiday for 3 years. It pushed me to take a 5 day writing retreat, at a secluded little beach cottage, for a week in November with one of my close writing friends.
Lesson #1 Don’t feel guilty about taking a break, having a time-out. Go away somewhere if you can. De-stress, actively relax and unplug.
march 1 |märCH|verb [ no obj. ]walk in a military manner with a regular measured tread: three companies of soldiers marched around the field.• walk or proceed quickly and with determination: without a word she marched from the room.• [ with obj. ] force (someone) to walk somewhere quickly: she gripped Rachel’s arm and marched her out through the doors.• walk along public roads in an organized procession to protest about something: antigovernment protesters marched today through major cities | they planned to march on Baton Rouge.• (of something abstract) proceed or advance inexorably: time marches on.
I love new beginnings. I love fresh starts. I have always loved the month of March. For me March has always been a month of beginnings and changes. March also happens to be my birthday month. March is also very aptly named. It is the only month of the year with a name that is also a strong active verb. (See meaning above.) How can you not be excited that March has arrived? Bad start to the year? Make March 2012 your month to “March” to the beat of a new drummer.
I am excited about this month. January and February were rough months for me. So March’s arrival is as much a celebration as a timely farewell to February. I also missed the fact at the beginning of the year that 2012 is a leap year. So for those many days when we wish we had an extra few hours or an extra day…this is the year. So my question to you is what are you going to do with the extra day up your sleeve this year? What leaps and bounds are you going to take?
I received something in my inbox yesterday (the last day of February) that really boosted me and inspired me. It was the latest post by Word Bitches. If you have not found and followed this site yet, I urge you to jump in. Anyway here is the post I received yesterday. The blogger at Word Bitches shared and posted the below manifesto courtesy of KM Weiland. She shared a couple of other links from other writers on there as well but it was the below manifesto that really hit ZING on the home zone for me. So I had to re-share it. I have also printed it and hung it. This is just the ZING I needed for this month.
Image courtesy of KM Weiland
So with the above manifesto shining a broad swathe of light in my pathway, I am ready for March. I am ready to jump right in. The beginning of the year has been all about life-interruptus and health-interruptus. Stress has been thy middle name February/January and unfortunately the novel became a dirty word. From a dead macbook battery to family emergencies as well as flu and endless migraines thrown in for good measure, I was not in the right head space to tackle the novel.
Image courtesy of: http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/148757.html If in February you were a mouse running helter-skelter to escape the fall-out of LIFE…then be a LION/Ness in March and let Life do the running from you.
But the one thing we are given freely every day as long as we have breath in our bodies is a fresh sunrise, a new dawn, a new day and the chance at a fresh new start. Yesterday and all its wearisome cares is burnt away by the moon and stars and when that sun whispers hello over the horizon, we can start all again. So with that in mind I have re-shared another image that landed on my computer screen this morning. Just looking at this image fills me with an inner calm and serenity. So if you have had a not so stellar start to 2012, take a look at the image below and remember today is a new day, today is also a new month. Don’t let the failures or stresses of yesterday be an energy vampire on your today. Let the sun burn out those energy vampires. When your sunrise arrives, don’t waste it. Grab the chance. This sunrise is a gift not a guarantee. Fulfill the promise that today is your new beginning and your fresh start. Make sure your boat is pointing in the right direction and your twin oars of persistence and perseverance are at the ready.
Image courtesy of Waves of Gratitude (Facebook)
‘Fiction, imaginative work that is, is not dropped like a pebble upon the ground, as science may be; fiction is like a spider’s web, attached ever so lightly perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners.’ – Virginia Woolf
‘The Iliad is only great because all life is a battle, the Odyssey because all life is a journey, the Book of Job because all life is a riddle.’ – GK Chesterton
‘If life got in your way yesterday, don’t despair; today’s dawn is a new start for you lit with the fire of a new sun. Get in the way of life instead by grabbing today with both hands and not letting it go until you have wrung out all the possibilities and fulfilled all the promises.’ – KM Koning
Image courtesy of pagecovers.com The quickest way to turn a blue day around is…wear something red…
…if you’ve been having one of those days or one of those months, play this song and remind yourself that you are just F***ing Perfect today just as you are…don’t be your own worst critic…strap on your boots or stilettos and take on the world because there is nobody like you in this world and you were put here for a reason…find the reason…make your mark…be YOU…and pick up that pen and start a fresh new page…You are the only one who can write your story…Get started…
Well my day was a dreary one indeed. I will not bore you nor depress you with the details but suffice to say that this was a day I could have done without. On coming home my head ached and my annoyance levels were seething in me. I was not feeling creative other than imagining scenes of destruction on my unsuspecting villains of my day.
I came home and powered up my MacBook. I started scrolling through my inbox until I came across a few comments on yesterday’s post that I needed to approve. It was not long before my deadly frown and grimace of the day turned into a smoothed brow and a wide smile.
A kind word is like a Spring Day. – Russian Proverb
I started this blog as a way to build an online presence and to network with other writers. I started blogging about a few things that I would be working on and found that many writers were in the same boat as me. But this blog has done so much more for me than just build an online presence. This blog has introduced me to a network of writers that have become my good friends….and this week I have needed the encouragement from my writing pals.
So this is a Shout-out to some amazing gals and guys I have gotten to know. I cannot attempt to name every single one of you as this post would then go on for pages. But I would like to the opportunity to give a few shout-outs and send out my grateful smiles to the following lovely people.
I hereby award each of you lovely friends and followers, motivators and encouragers, pick-me-uppers and fix-me-uppers, frowns-into-smiles the double awards of The Sisterhood Award
Thank you to every single one of you Amazing ladies who I have mentioned here. Allow me to take this moment to Shout Out to you. Paste and copy these twin awards onto your website. These are not meant to be paid forward, they are simply to show my appreciation for your constant support, encouragement, motivation and above all your friendship. Keep them and display them proudly. I am proud and honoured to count you as my friends and part of my sisterhood.
I bow in gratitude, admiration and friendship to each of you.
Thank you. I hope I can be as good a support for each of you as you have been for me this last year.
We are in the middle of the silly season and the year is coming to an end. You have been filling your thoughts with your loved ones and wondering what would be the perfect gift to show them how precious they are to you. Christmas is a time of family and friends, a time of love and laughter and more importantly it is a time for living. It is also a time of memories: making them and remembering them. It is a time of year when bygones and regrets are put aside and we just take the time to give of ourselves to those we love, whether that be in presents under the Christmas tree or the precious gift of your time spent with those you love and cherish.
Soon after Christmas it is time for the year to end and for a new year and fresh beginnings to start. It is a time of resolutions and goal settings. It is a time when the mistakes you have made in the year or the paths you missed are put into retrospect and you have new paths before you. For many it can be a time of cross-roads.
For me, 2010 has had its ups and downs. Much of the time it has felt like a year-long roller coaster ride. But like every roller coaster ride at the fairground, the ride must come to an end and you must get off the roller coaster. That time is almost upon us all.
What does 2011 hold for us? What new paths and new adventures will be shown? What goals will light our way? I have been giving this a lot of thought this month. However, being a writer, unless I put what I am thinking into words the thoughts can remain just those … thoughts. Instead I want to make my thoughts about this concrete and breathe life into them. So this brings me to this post.
I am subscribed to a blog of Christine Kane. I receive regular newsletters and posts from this blog and this creative artist and singer never fails to inspire me. The latest one I received this week came with a pdf worksheet. The topic is: Word of the Year. In this worksheet, Christine shares something she was inspired to do annually at this time of the year by a friend of her’s and that was to find a word or words to theme your New Year. So instead of making New Year’s resolutions which never seem to last past January, you choose a word, words or a phrase to guide you down your paths for that year. She tells you to consider 3 elements before you choose your word or your phrase for the year.
Authenticity – choose a word that is Authentically YOU
Awareness – be Aware of your Intention to first choose, then live your word
Clarity – be Clear about the What (your word) and the Why (your motivation)
So, taking the inspiration from Christine Kane I am going to set you all a challenge find Your Word or Phrase for 2010. Write it down in your journal or cut out letters and put it on your cork-board above your desk. Once you have chosen this word:
Think about why this is the Perfect Word for you this coming year.
If you embraced and lived this word daily through 2011, what would be different in your life?
In what way do you already/would you like to live or embody this Word?
In what ways do you not live or embody this word?
If you intentionally used this word as your mantra and focus every day of the year, what energy would you attract or create?
What old patterns or beliefs have kept you from living this word until now?
List at least 3 things that trigger you to run away from this word – be specific.
List at least 5 possible “Pattern Interrupt” habits you can practise to counter your triggers in #7.
List at least 5 new Proactive habits to support your intention to live this word and to inhibit the triggers that may hold you back.
List 5 goals – big or small – that you would like to accomplish this year in 2011. These goals must be based or rooted in the word/phrase you choose.
What is your Home Run? The Big Dream for 2011 that is motivated by your word.
Seal your intention: Call a trusted friend and tell them about Your Word. (Or if you are brave enough, write a blog post about Your Word/Phrase of 2011.)
My Words of 2011 are:
LIVE
LAUGH
LOVE
I am going to take the next week to decide the How’s of these words for my life, my creativity and my goals in 2011 and I will be back to blog about them for the New Year post.
Until then, I wish you all a peaceful Christmas season filled with precious memories and moments punctuated with love, laughter and blessings of abundance.
Yes that means you. The traditional definition for a Warrior is ~ BRAVE FIGHTER & SOLDIER. So why would that make you a Warrior? Let me tell you why. Each of us has our own daily battles to fight. It starts when we get up in the morning and does not let off until we go to bed at night. The battle may have different fields for each of us. But they are all battles. Do these terms sound familiar?
Did any of these fields of battle seem familiar to you? If you answered yes to only one of these terms than you are doing better than most of humanity. No matter what culture you are part of, what time-zone you fall in on the globe, what job you do, single or in a relationship – you will encounter at least most of these battles in your daily lives. The only thing that separates you and I from soldiers is that we don’t wear a uniform that describes us and sets us apart. There are also very seldom any awards for battles well fought given out to us.
There are also another group of Warriors this month. They are part of a 172,000 strong army and their weapons are currently almost 200 000 000 words. These brave troops are boosted by infantry troops of 27,000 junior warriors with fighting power of 10 000 000 words.
This month I am proud to say that I am one of the 172,000 warriors for NaNoWriMo 2010 and my individual fighting power currently stands at 16547 words. I am very proud of those statistics and this battalion of True Warriors.
These NaNoWriMo Warriors are truly warriors for three reasons.
These Word Warriors fight all the above battles that I listed to chase after a dream. This dream may seem impossible but yet this does not stop them from signing up and volunteering for battle. They also do this along a normal life as well. They do not go and become a hermit in a tucked away cabin, eschewing all human company for 30 days. No they do this Great Battle of the Novel parallel to and oftentimes intersecting life. They do this, not for a monetary prize or even a gold medal, they do this to say proudly that they have taken 30 days to write 50 000 words or more.
The second reason they are called NaNoWriMo Warriors is that by the end of the month they are not just individuals anymore. They have forged bonds and made connections that may last a life time. When you enlist for this Battalion, like any army you become a unit with other individuals all with the same goal even though they may have different motivations. As a Battalion they are supportive and encouraging of each other. They back one another up when they are flailing for air. They cover one another with firepower of WORDS when they go into battle. They respect one another and they all respect the Chase after the Dream.
The third reason why they are called NaNoWriMo Warriors is to my mind the most important and worthy reason of all. It is a simple fact but one that begs to be repeated in this modern age especially. It is as simple and as complex to say: THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD. For this reason, each and every one of the 172,000 Warriors and each and every one of the 27,000 junior infantry are True Warriors of the Highest order. In this day and age that people seem to look to television or gaming devices for information and entertainment it makes my heart swell with pride to see the sheer numbers of the Warriors that have enlisted for NaNoWriMo with only a pen in your hand. Be not dismayed by thinking that a pen could not possibly hold up to a sword let alone be mightier. I mean aren’t writers nerdy? Can you name me one great army soldier from any country in the 16th century? You have 3 minutes, without googling….Did you come up with a name? Me neither. Now name me a great Wordsmith Warrior of the 16th century in the same amount of time? The answer is William Shakespeare. Now how powerful is the Word I ask you? I could give thousands, hundreds of thousands of other great word warriors but I think you get the point with just this one.
So today if you are facing a particularly tough battle, remember that you are a Warrior Chasing a Worthy Dream with powerful fighting power: Your Words.
I leave you with words from the Mighty Bard himself:
that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goose-quills and dare scarce come thither. – Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2 – William Shakespeare
Kim Koning 
